


When The Thunder Cracks

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-04-26 01:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14391699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: However, the light she longs for is the brown in Bellamy’s eyes. The thought only makes her cry a bit more, because now everything is out to assemble.OR.clarke and echo talking about bellamy followed by a love confession from clarke to bellamy at the end. (what I want it to be like)





	When The Thunder Cracks

**Author's Note:**

> I’m too anxious waiting for 5x04 to happen, so please enjoy this story about bellamy and clarke admitting they love eachother! Enjoy xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> Clarke tapped on the spine of her crumpling book, a huff leaving her lips because the stupid pages keep falling out beside her lamp. She hates how dim the lightbulb was after so long, but it's all she has. It'll have to do, because Raven is still working on the rover and can’t help make a new bulb. Settlement is no stranger to how she lives her life on the ground, the thought consuming her until she hears Monty and Harper yell goodnight to Raven from across the small patch of grass.

At least, her friends are happy.

She hears loud footsteps come to a halt in front of her door, "Bellamy agrees that we should start heading north for Polis in the morning".

Clarke looks up to the sudden mention of the guy she's been trying to avoid, but her blood runs calm when she realizes it wasn't him.

At least, he's happy with Echo.

Both women hesitate to move for a few seconds because they have so much history with one person, but Clarke is supposed to be fine with their relationship. Which she is, at least she tries to be.

"Good." Clarke answers, doing nothing but smile.

She knew Bellamy could of come and said those exact words to her face, feeling her palms sweat already with the scenario in her head. But he didn't come, and it maybe caused the pain in her chest then.

Echo taps her fingers against her waist, not wanting to be afraid to speak to the woman who stole Bellamy's heart the minute they had met. But it hurt too much, to know that he still loves her . So she doesn't move. 

Echo asks, “Can we talk?” 

Clarke freezes when she tried to stand up from the old chair, feeling her heartbeat thumping against her chest because Echo wants to talk about Bellamy. Of course, she’s the obstacle in their relationship. 

Clarke already shoved her feelings into the deepest depths of her heart, the second she let go of Bellamy's shaking stature to see Echo walking off to go back into the damn space-pod because a dead girl just made her complicated relationship so much more complicated. She thinks that he's smiling because of his lover, not the girl who's been dead for six years.

But, she still nods a painful welcome into her cozy home and Echo strides into the hut like a fuse ignoring it's duty to erupt into flames. Her hair was almost hazelnut against the dying light, so she glances towards Clarke to see her blonde hair look a bit brighter. Like the sun, and Echo wants to throw that stupid lamp out into the dirt because Bellamy looked at the sun at a distance, every morning in space.

He was trying to imagine Clarke, a bright light in the distance is what she was. And it wasn't the words that Echo would describe the love that Bellamy had for her, because it couldn't even compare.

"Bellamy?" Clarke swallows the burning of her throat, hoping the ease of the conversation would flow because she can't stand to look at someone who's kept her partner sane in space for six damn years. She hates how she feels, because he was the one keeping her sane for all that time too.

"It was that obvious?" Echo questions, a light snicker distracting her. She could feel the tension build, knowing they won't look at the other because who would look at someone you can't compete with? That's what hurt the most.

"You have nothing to worry about, we were never a t-thing to begin with" Clarke stutters when mentioning a potential relationship in the past, because it wasn't in the present and she can't see a future with him when she's talking to the girl that gets to hold him at night. She still feels the spark and the man he changed into was the one to shamelessly ignite it. 

“I know it’s been a really long time, but I hope you know that lying won’t get any of us anywhere in this conversation” Echo pauses “it hurts the both of us.” 

Clarke feels her heart ache but swallows the tears growing in her throat knowing the other woman was correct. 

“He loves you and I know that.” Clarke states, breathing heavily as she forces herself to lie even more when the lock eyes. 

Echo shakes her head with her lips biting to prevent her own tears and emotions wanting to maintain focus, “He loved you first, and I’m afraid he never stopped.” 

“So it’s a game of who he loved first?” 

“No Clarke, it’s who he’s always loved and still does.” Echo shyly looks to the ground. It was calming her storm, covered with dew and enforced with tree bark and bright colors. 

Clarke is shocked, unable to wrap her mind around the words coming from the woman who’s learned to love the man she does, so she shakes her head again. 

“He thought I was dead, he forgot about me Echo. He learned to love you” 

Echo bitterly smiles, “That’s different, what I had with him is different. He learned to love me, to accept me. But, he’s loved you since the moment he met you. I saw it with my own eyes”  

Clarke thinks back to the times where Bellamy got stabbed in the leg once, her own scream in her heart matched his of pain. He was willing to sacrifice himself to save her, and it had only been three months of isolation. 

She fights the words on the tip of her tongue. “We were partners, co-leaders for a better term. We kept eachother grounded and level-minded. His duty to protect me was none of my control” 

Echo argues, “More like...his only will to live was to protect you and his sister.” A pause to test the response of the mighty Wanheda but met silence. “I was loyal to my clan, to the king for my entire life. I know the difference between willingness and devotion.” 

It wasn’t pitiful or disrespectful, but Clarke was surprised at how genuine it sounded. Was she saying that Bellamy had always been devoted to Clarke? What would that even mean? 

Clarke begins to speak but gets cut off mid response “You don’t know what you’re talking about Echo, I don’t even understand-“ 

Echo huffs an angry breath, her eyes glass with tears “I fell in love with a man who didn’t love me the same. I guess I understood since I caused him and your people so much pain, but I changed. My family is dead, my loyalty lies with you and them. You didn’t see when Bellamy came running to save you from my sword?” 

She steps closer, every step closer to the woman that sacrificed herself to save her.

”Were you blind to the fact that one of my guards had to knock Bellamy to the side when I took you out of the cell all those years ago?”

Clarke swallows roughly, feeling her soul rip open with the love that she kept from him for so long. She tries to be strong as Echo is now in front of her face, eyeing her with a sadness that she too felt. 

“Like I said, I’m not stupid to the fact that you two love eachother and now he doesn’t have to love a dead girl. Why? Because she’s standing right here, feeling the same shock as me. My loyalty is with all of you, I can’t stand in the way of what you have” Echo’s tone diminished as she ends with a soft whisper. A tear falls down her cheek, followed by many when Clarke looks away. 

Strength is proven with the admiration and pure recognition of what a person can do, and Echo feels she’s done just that. 

Clarke accepts the fact that’s she’s been holding back “You made him happy, Echo. After all of the fighting, you lived with him in overall peace. That’s something I didn’t have”

A nice smile after something so difficult to admit, “I hope you find your happiness again with him, because you both deserve it. You’re important to him Wanheda, don’t forget that” Echo wipes the tears that finally fell from her face, relief for a slightly broken heart when she feels the wetness against the back of her hand. 

Clarke chokes out into a sob, finally letting the emotions hit her like jumping into the lake in Mount Weather. 

“Why are you giving him to me?” She manages to make those words audible. 

Echo is halfway out the door with her own bloodshot eyes and raspy voice when she turns, “I refuse to let the love you share be shadowed by me.” 

“You aren’t an-“ 

“An obstacle? I always was with you guys, it feels better to admit it aloud to you Clarke. The universe is cruel to the people who deserve love, and I can’t be another prominent act of torture and cruel ness to you or Bellamy. He matters too much” 

Either of them didn’t expect to be so close in thought, but it was a surprise to both realizations. How could Clarke fix all of this? She wants to want Bellamy, but everyone she loves is in a grave. How can she cope without Bellamy? Her partner, the one she cried for when he saved Madi and herself from Eliguis? 

“Thank you”

It was the least she could do, an act of gratitude and loyalty to a new person. She watches as Echo nods her head, feeling acceptance but a bit dazed with everything that happened. So, she just makes her way to her own tent now that she’s moved out of Bellamy’s, ready to start her own adventure hoping she’d find someone else in the future. 

As for Clarke, she crumbles and falls to her knees in her tent. Her pants bunch tightly with the stretch of the fabric at her thighs, distracting her from the only thought in her mind. She wasn’t an obstacle to Bellamy and Echo, it was her all this time. It was Echo that was an issue to her own relationship, and it makes Clarke feel terrible but thankful because maybe the world wasn’t so ruthless. 

Maybe, it could shine a light so beautiful that it makes her forgive the pain she endured. 

However, the light she longs for is the brown in Bellamy’s eyes. The thought only makes her cry a bit more, because now everything is out to assemble. 

Her emotions are unraveling, and she knows his love for her is marvelous in its own right, so it’s up to her to connect the pieces. 

To connect the pieces of their hearts to be in love, and she hates how it feels so right to even imagine. 

       

                »—————————–

 

  “Are you sure there’s nothing bothering you?” Bellamy asks, his left hand grazing Clarke’s shoulder. Sparks? Oh yeah...they burn bright for him as well.

It was morning, the trees glowing with minimal sunlight, a cool breeze through the leaves sounded like whistling. Bellamy was helping Clarke with breakfast like he always does. It was usually berries and some meat from dinner, the night before. 

The others would gladly eat anything because algae for six years wasn’t the best choice of food and definitely less tasty than the juicy fruit they had on the ground. Bellamy was just glad to be with Clarke, mostly because he thought he wasn’t gonna see her again till he landed his spot in Hell. 

But being with her again, made him feel like Heaven and it was nice. 

Something was a bit off this morning, her eyes just a bit more swollen and puffy and a small frown to her face everytime she looked at him. Clarke even wanted to  volunteer Harper to help her with breakfast because she didn’t want Bellamy around. It only took one glare (playful of course) to his friend for her to laugh and back down from the offer. 

“I’m fine Bell, just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. The wind was loud and I’m pretty sure there was bird singing outside my tent” Clarke answers, shifting away to distract herself from how his hand slid off her arm. She had to move around the kitchen area, to hold at least a few feet radius between them. 

She still hasn’t figured out how she feels and won’t drag Bellamy into her mess because of something she can’t describe.

”But your tent is right next to mine? I’m pretty sure I would of heard it too” He could read her like an open book. 

“it’s not my fault you sleep like a baby now that you’re back on Earth!” Clarke turns to laugh, and it makes him grin. 

That’s it, she thinks. Hopefully it’ll shift the topic to something other than her crying herself to sleep. Why would she tell him that his ex-girlfriend confronted her about feelings that shouldn’t exist? It’s so soon.

”Well, I have a good reason to sleep peacefully every night” His voice was teasing, so pure that it seemed daughting to her fragile mind.

She was the reason that he was so happy, and it should make her feel the same. But it doesn’t, because she can’t stop thinking about Echo’s trembling hands against her tear-filled eyes that used to hate so much.  

“I wonder what it is?” Clarke tries her best to tease back, almost dropping the cooking pan in her grasp because he’s walking closer. 

“Is Clarke Griffin blind to the fact that she makes me happy to wake up everyday? I’m shocked” Bellamy reaches to grab her hand, not refraining from squeezing it. He’s slick. 

Clarke looks up with big eyes; shocked with fear and a painful memory that’s too fresh. 

So she does the first thing that her brain processes her to do, and runs. 

Now, he’s actually shocked but runs after her. He follows her into the small forest that grew beside Eden, scared to think he lost her again. 

“Bellamy?” It’s only been a couple minutes and Clarke is breathless. She was always good at hiding in the trees. 

“Why’d you run away?” He asks, wiping his hands with the hem of his shirt because he was breaking into a nervous sweat. He’s deciding if he would tell her something he’s been holding in since seeing Echo walk away from her room. 

“Why’d you follow me?” Clarke tries to argue, walking past him curiously. 

Bellamy has a firm grip on her forearm when he speaks, “You bolted out of the room when I said you made me happy, and expect me not to go after you? I know we’ve both changed but I’d still do anything for you” 

“You’ve never told me that before, so I hope you thought of how I’d react to something so new when it’s been six years since we’ve talked about our feelings, Bellamy” She forced his name out of her mouth, wanting to show dramatic effect. 

His brown hair tangled in the wind, it was picking up by the second and it felt like it could blow her away. 

Clarke sees how his face changes with the muffling she can’t hear because of the change in weather, a look of sorrow or guilt so she dares herself to just take a step or two to hear him better.

She regrets it instantly. 

“I heard Echo talking to you last night, it wasn’t hard because I’m right next to you but I heard everything. I’m sorry-I didn’t mean to intrude, I just couldn’t help it since I was the one you were talking about” His words were fast and she almost misses them. 

He’s talking loud like the beat of her heart against her chest, and Clarke won’t ignore it much longer. 

The sky turns a pale grey, irony to the storm about to happen between two people who ignore their feelings and one with the sky. 

“It’s fine, it’s all fine Bellamy” Clarke breathes out, close enough to smell the oak wood from the bonfire and the sweetness of the berrie aroma on his clothes. She rubs at her temples to try and calm herself. 

“Is it really? Because I can’t hold in how I feel about you much longer” There’s a deepness to his tone, a hint of pain. 

Her blue eyes meet his, and everything else seems to melt away. Even, the craziness of her blonde mess of a ponytail was wailing around and all she could do was get lost in how he was glaring at her. 

It was soft, but intimidating. 

“We’re fine, and we’ve always been that way. Do you really know how you feel? You thought I was dead for six years, and I was waiting for you. Those feelings we may of had don’t just appear again over night.” Clarke says, her hand pushing away at his. 

Bellamy knows she’s trying to shove him away, so he stops her and grabs both of her hands instead. He speaks loud even though she’s in front of him, but he hates how in denial she seemed to be. 

“Tell me why you let Echo say that you love me? I’ll bury these feelings for you once and for all, if you do. It’ll be hell, but I need you to say it for me.” His thumbs caress the back of her hand, urging her to admit something he knows she’s fighting herself over. 

“Be-Bellamy I can’t do that to you” She answers, closing her eyes when he wipes at the single tear threatening to spill. 

Neither of them could never get what she wants, so why even try? She’s realized. 

“Clarke, please. I need you to say that you don’t love me so I could stop trying to have you” Bellamy’s voice raises an octave, scared for her answer but more for his heart who’s already been repaired and tore open too many times for him to count. 

Clarke shakes her head, the cold nipping at her skin like a rash. She can’t say it, and it’s tearing her apart. 

She feels her eyes burn with trying to be strong like always, like the leader she used to be, but his shaking lips meet her forehead and she lets herself fall into his arms. 

“Of course I love you Bellamy, and that’s what is beating me up inside. I can’t let myself have you” Clarke punches at his chest, crying because she admitted it. 

It makes him cry too, because how dare she not say that her life isn’t deserving of wanting somebody to love her? It hurts him. 

“Why were you so scared of telling me that? And don’t give me a terrible answer of Echo because we both have dealt with that turmoil already, I want a real answer” Bellamy let’s a microscopic smile form on his lips, pulling Clarke away from his chest to see everything she was. 

She feels her brain tug on her heart strings because they were so different from the other. “It’s not easy for me to say”

”I’m not leaving” He almost giggles because she smiles. 

Both of Clarke’s hands grip at his arms, steadying herself like she would fall if she didn’t. She begins to speak to him, like they were the only two people on Earth at that moment. 

She takes a deep breath as Bellamy follows her same gesture. “What we felt for eachother, it wasn’t easy. We hated, trusted, protected, and confided in one another for the first year on the ground.” 

He nods when she takes a second to collect herself, his grip tighter against the skin on her arm to hold her still and grounded. 

“When you left, I couldn’t describe this emptiness I felt when I didn’t have you around. I still feel it, after I found Madi it only got worse. I missed you so much and I realized how much I actually felt for you.” She stops herself because there’s a crack of thunder in the sky that disrupts them both. 

“Clarke, I really....really want to try us. I won’t be able to live with myself if we don’t try”  Bellamy speaks like a shy teenage boy, because this woman makes him flustered beyond explanation. 

“A bit dramatic there, huh?” Clarke sniffles the remaining tears away, how could she not? He loves her. 

She looks away to a stray branch on the verge of snapping because the wind is getting intense, unaware of how confused she is about a relationship with someone who means so much. 

“I don’t fully understand how I feel about you....I’ve always loved you but I’m scared of losing you” Clarke’s eyes dim as she looks up at him. She’s scared to let herself go into the world that is him, but who wouldn’t be when you’ve loved someone for so long. 

She can’t ruin him. 

“Let’s take it slow, that’s a start yeah?” He gestures, pulling her into him to wrap both arms around her waist. 

Clarke stiffens but eventually wraps her arms just as tight, wanting to feel him too. She’d be lying if she doesn’t want to be with him, and that’s not a risk she wants to take anymore. 

“Is it a bad time to mention that’s there’s thunder and it might start raining any minute?” She mentions, quite giddy because her friends haven’t seen rain since it was a deadly occurrence. It’s how he makes her feel, that could change her moons entirely. Bellamy is her person. 

Also, his lips somehow find the corner of her own and he presses lightly because like he had mentioned, slow is how he wants to go. She happily sighs, a little noise coming from the back of throat. 

It sends butterflies in her stomach, and she doesn’t stop him even though it wasn’t much. 

“If it was acid rain, and I was standing with you six years ago in this same spot....I wouldn’t mind dying if you were next to me” Clarke’s world spins on its axis because he’s so honest with himself, and it makes her heart grow so much more fond of him, the adult he’s grown into. 

“It’s normal rain, you idiot” Clarke smiles into his right palm, because he’s holding the side of her face. 

Another crack of thunder erupts in the sky, and it reminds him of where he was born, what he came back to, not expecting to find Clarke Griffin alive. 

“If it’s normal rain-“ he pauses because she’s looking at him like he wrote the stars in her galaxy, and it kinda takes his breath away for a moment. “then I guess we should get back to camp and wait for the others to come back”. 

And, just as the first drop hits the tip of Clarke’s nose, and the grin on Bellamy’s face is hurting his cheeks, he takes her hand and they sprint back to the place they call home. 


End file.
